• mom: are you on drugs?
  • me: 私は今の薬です
you only like me when you’re lonely

-(via tyleeiswasted)

(Source: crunchier)


my dad is a cop and i just called him and he was like “hey i have a 17 year old boy in the back of my cop car right now that i’m running him to the station” and i asked if he was cute and my dad said “Hey, my daughter wants to know if you’re cute” and the guy said “i want to say yes, sir” and my dad started laughing so fucking hard

(Source: ahcalamity)